In todays edition of psych wars its saturday 4 may 2019 and as usual perfect, i felt good, the boys were on point and the ex was firing on all cylinders. Happy family is what came to mind when titling the blog, and that feels great, all i ever wanted in life… but lets dive into it, cause its a book i need for today, but it’s 10.22pm and i want it done in 4 hours, sunrise at the latest..
I got down the boys at 9am, Naht 6.5yrs & Jaek 3yrs 9m were sitting in there room building with blocks something that was looking cool, and they were really into it, but had just got to the “”i got no more blocks”” and looking at how to continue. I sat down to say hello, and Jaek said, “”what do you do that””, I had cut off the scruffy beard It beard cause the young bird had popped in at in the morning.. Sugar daddy .com.. They told me before that i dont look like a daddy when i cut it, “”what do you think, 10 yrs younger don’t i”, Naht,”””you don’t look like my daddy””, i said””sorry mate, i couldn’t find the trimmer and i cut it off, gimme 2 weeks and it be back, i know you like the beard and i only want to be a daddy…… 48 hr prob since last sleep, and the ex offered up coffee and breakfast and thats exactly what i needed.. I listened to her while eating, and got the run down of what what, that i had no idea of, and we were off to soccer at 10am.
On the way Naht, said it my birthday in two days, and then asked his mum in the most respectful planned way if he could miss after school german class , just one time so daddy can come over on monday… She said no and began to explain and Naht jumped back in strong, and i went over both and said, you asked that as good as you could boy, and i pick you up from school, good stuff boy, Ex tried to go for next day, Naht wanted birthday day and 1/4 winge begging argued tone. I amped it up “”Naht, i pick you up ok, i will talk to mummy and it will happen so leave it… She went to plead her point, but i told her to wait as well..
Was the first time i seen him play soccer, as sunday is my day, and he went off with friends and i took a stroll with Jaek.. He is a tiny near 4yr old, bit of chatting, and exploring and chassings, then some bit rougher stuff and he would run into me like a tackle.. Kids love this and its top shelf in the effects it has. Back when me and Naht were doing our thing i had to limit it to once a day, he would go that hard and long with it. But its hits there confidence, they know where there at, it’s physical bonding to the extreme, trust and every emotion get pumped up.. They know that they can go hard at you and you not walk away.. So a good 15 mins he took these big run off and slammed into me and for sure were harder that last week…Your child will for 100% be no more, even less aggresive when you get a bit rough with him like this…. Would of looked funny for everyone 50 away this kids lauching into his dad. We cruised back and already jaek is starting to beam on his own with me. He dont get his share as Naht, is non stop talker. And Jaek not confident yet, but the smallest rize in confidents and he escalates it with his own talk and near cant control himself he so happy when he allowed to use his mind with out interuption,… There were like ten dogs with people on side of the field and we did big round of doggy funny stuff and that’s big time effect in mind for a child..
We go over to the game where Naht is and there playing a real easy team, he pops in 3 already and all jonny on the spot, and back middle where he just blabbing away in esxtacy while playing so i through in a couple of funnies basically saying play.. Jaek was hanging with me, and im not sure, it seemed so that he went over to his mun and hung on her leg. He just gave this slight look to say, look, i doing something you don’t like. I wanted a drink so i give him a nudge to show it not on and we both went to the shop… He was near panic attack a few weeks back, and the ex keeps fucking things up when i get em going good… It very simple how this seperation anxiety works, but you have a kids a bit this way, your stepping into a like time of mental illness if you don’t sort it.. Its a comfort thing, but more it turns to a dependence thing, which is what the growing up is supposed to move away from this dependance and will have the effect of hare core emotional abuse,, I think its abuse if you dont help a child get over the parent as a dependant.. Its another blog in its self… but we got back and he did it again, so she trys to encourage if any thing and there definelty a bit of “”what are you going to do now……””. So i give him a few spray the drink we bought, and then again to get him off leg, we end up playing a bit and head into the bush were there that has a awesome bike track weaving in out of the trees..
The biggest problem is at around jaek age a child begins to develope, a longer thought process. Its when you can get adhd.. But that’s not the concern and i know what to do if somehow he got it, which is not really possible when your aware how sndh, an mind state works.. But a child hang on the leg of mum, will do this as a way of dealing with there problems. And they don’t develop ways to deal with adversity and also a dependant thought process and it just snow balls into every sort of anxiety, depression and into panic attacks and a fucked life…Its a problem and just the way it is with my ex. She just sees some kid as dependant on her and down were all the rest could be.. It s not the time to make scratch and blame, what ever you do is basically teaching them that .. and then onto a thought process that is influenced with some that will just have the poor thought and cyclical style..
So i take him cruising on this bike track for a bit of therapy.. The few little secrets of good therapy, outdoors exploring and and get the talking flowing. And i mean 3 yr old talk.. And i mean therapy that hits the spot and makes a dint. He is in not a bad state, but its not quite there where i feel total safety from danger zone of mental illness. Jaek i would say is average confidence, a fair bit under with his dependancy issue, poor in dealing with stuff, the above ave in play and self-esteem, He got total trust in me .. So for what he needs, i can use the trust to get him thinking about issue that effect him, dependancy and the flow on.. He gets that as a norm anyway, but i want him to be aware of it in mindstate, important to me and when the trust is there, the result will be there even for a 3 yr old with out stepping into issue of putting responsibility back on the child for any of it being his fault.. You just talk and there is no plan, you just seem to always get lots of chances to effect mindset.
We walked and talked, he mentioned a couple of times being lost, we jumped of the track to let others lost, trees fallen were dinosaurs, playing with cars and remote control cars on the track and bike riding, you talk about when you were a kid and just stuff to give him thought and continued conversation, and when you can you drop into areas where he knows like cartoon and you act all suprised that he knows more that you, and my dad used to call me the last of the great do do birds, was a big bird, and do do sounds a bit dumb, but you dont call you kid dumb, But thinking like that is do do and there no more birds like that but there is if you just said that, and goes futher, but jaek was into it, a bloke seen a snake a good way down and is just cruising like we do as a rule, and we were nearly back to the feild and there was one like bike jump, and being a kid, he probably getting tired legs or could of been anything, Maybe the steep jump was a bit close to being to hard.
So he yelled out he needed help, getting down th jump, I said come on have a go you can do that, then he started the cry and screaming he cant, and i thought for a breif second, maybe, but no , walked about 50 steps and i knew we couldn’t see each other, and i wouldn’t go far before i turn back, but he got down, no problem and was running after me crying, so his emotions are up… and you got a chance to help him emotionally with things that arent strong due to his life presented to hi by parents.. What you need to say will always be in relation to how emotions work and to the mindstate of the person, and that of a nearly 4 yr old, still even with short thought process so its got to be clear, matter to him. Then you hit that spot, you re hit it over and over where every word is straight forward. Its simple and only way, and you show it like you mean it.. You ask simple questions that he agree with… I see him running i turn around and show im upset with him thinking i walked off on him, peoples minds throw up insecurities all the time… I get into him,, “”YOU THINK I WOULD WALK OFF ON YOU””, “”DO YOU””, then i grab him and look at him “”I will never walk off on you””, “”ÿou are my boy””, “”no matter what, a car, a bus, a big train i will be right there every time.. “”when did anything happen to you””, tell me one time i wasn’t right there in the right spot .. Jaek says””i couldn’t get down”””, and that’s absolutely perfect, cause now its double down time,, What are you talking about”””Thats an easy one for you””, “”That smaller than hexly bike jump, climbing over the sofa”” Your 3 nearly 4, your not 2 or 1 or a little cry baby”” You My BOY””‘MY BEST BOY”” and he alright now so we walking again, but now just needs a bit of time to feel what has been said””you and naht are my boy”” and “”we all together”’and mummy”” Ï know your the smallest””, but i ever say your small””, your a big boy,,, Now he starts talking, cause he confidents comes up with feeling secure and the pump up.. When naht give you them little ones you dont like, who is there, every time, i see em””, and do i get angry with naht””do i”” he say yes”” and there only little things that dont even hurt”” änd you dont cry much even”” he says i not cry at kindy anymore””””ÿou know why”” he says””cause im a big boy”” you will probably be bigger than me one day mate”” you dont cry at kindy cause mum not there””””is she””at kindy you a bigboy”””i think you a bigboy””but mummy see you crying all the time and she forgets you a big boy”” “”she says you little”””and “”always on your side””and i get upset, because mummy not letting you be a bigboy”” anything jaek, i dont care if it just a little one from naht, dont care if mummy get upset when daddy tell her to leave you””but every time and for no one else do i get mad, only you, you know, i know you dont like those little one, i know cause im your daddy .. I know when you cry is real sometime i even give you a hug when you cry for nothing, it not because you cry for nothing, it because i show you i never walk away.. You dont cry mich with me, or at kindy, but you crying to much with mum, you hold her leg, you hold her hand, you look like you sad, you finger in your mouth when she around, and it make daddy very upset… Everyone loves you mate and you see me walking away,, i not a dodo im your daddy, naht just trying to make you tough to, but that my job, i dont need any help, you try and you try and you try to and that is good but i dont give up when you cry for nothing when mum there, i get more and more close to you to stop this… thats not walking away.. it not your fault, but you getting strong now, you were running into me and i could feel it today, you not crying at kindy, this time you have to cry much less with mum… i dont like it, nathan doesnt like it mum doesnt like it, and it makes you sad to.. In our family we dont like that, we like it when you tuff and good boy. You a good boy jaek.. sometimes you need your mummy and she there for those times, not for everyday.. Soon there no nappy, soon we go to kindy with no hazy, soon you go to bed by yourself and when u were 1 you were the toughest boy i ever seen, you never needed help, so i know you can do it, you know you can do it, the dodo bird and bum bums the hot lips and transformes know you can do it and lots of things to do but you got to be ready… its not mummy time, it jaek time… we dont hop, we dont bop we dont go popcoptopwe dont stop till we get to the top .. It was way over in reality, but you hit an emotion and then re hit and then this one m anf that one and it therapy ten fold when you know what your targeting.
I grabbed naht and the it just the boys, it not an issue any more him getting nervous and crying to much.. He beams, it even to high, she had wanted us to go to some bees thing and its an idea, but is irrelavent, Poor mum, plans and plans and then i come along with the no plan is the plan, we are not out of the car park and its not even a hot day and naht says can we have a slushy.. When you know what your doing sitting on the sofa becomes an adventure cause kids just rise every time when you don’t hold em back.. The more you know, the more you put the easy more enjoyable and better they are. Its not even close either. Every time the parent is in the wrong and then you go from there is the rule…
Lets just say the reply started, did you just call me dodo, mummys not hear and daddy a dodoe and its slushy time,, and the converation and laughs and adjustment, thinking and revert back to this, and we just in our world, we grabbed kfc for first time, naht talk in the drive though Jaek pays the money and we go looking for a shaddy spot, Slammed on the gas through this up hill down hill section and the drive we even have fun when its needed, We end up in just a nothing playground with no thought. The boys never ask wear we going, cause i dont know, and its there to deciede, Our favorite shop is salvos, our favourite cafe sells risoelle sandwiches for me and its quiet when no body goes there, but i put out a rug , ten minutes there off and i fell asleep…
They wake me up i think and i went to the playground bit and they put some effort into a shop they made where the thought stopped before what there selling, so that becomes there focus and they stretch out these little thoughts more and more and you see where there at, Jaek was stuck on 14 with counting and he not really a 3 and 9 month kids , he a bit small and the year i never seen him set him back but no big deal now and it all goes down to naht for getting him through it. Buts its only a day and a arvo per week , and there busy, but there pushy hard for extra and was doable short term to develop a week in a day, and i wanted to focus on research, but there the best research any how.
So jackie got the 14 and im the maths guy and love the maths talking, but i havent been showing off the maths tricks and he is top and went good in a maths competision that was voluntary, and i was picking up that he was getting interested in anything numbers. i dont feel it a bad thing, but he got to expand his thought i feel can only be good, but in will be hard as me or his mum, are noable to lead the. my maths processers.
From there we made it to across the road in 3 hours. These are always the best days when you just get into a conversation there no thought of therapy, its just nature now.. We just like move in a general formation to where ever i but mainly then just lead the way, there never a thought of we are not actually doing anything. We watched a bloke with the hood up then when the car went we talked About the big dog in this truck. Now a 3.5 is at a big disadvantage in knowledge and he cant do the long thought, but he goes alright, we sat on these coppers logs for an hour and you just talk and i never actually bother to look but there like rubbing them selves on you and like this effection i never had, but just seems natural.. its not like back when where they only got effection in negative emotions standpoints. Naht in this spots does bring up thing he wasnt sure about, and it feels a little bit like he is commputing as well but i think it not as b I mentioned that there mum wasnt happy that you call another girl hotlips and , What is diet, they like hearing about my days as a kid, we talked about how 15/2 score in soccer it not what you want. Until nathan need a poo and we go to the servo across the road and he tells us to stay in this spot, and was just so we could hear him talking, Offered a slushy and sat in the car wash . seating. We heading back home and asked to stop at the salvos, the two of em went together to get a cucumber and both loved that, there was this rock band playing next door to the store and little one was just getting in to it and it was over while…
Then we get in the store, and they get these lawnmower toys for like 18 m babies and they just went round and round the store following each other for twenty minutes, Like there never been ratbags, and not ever quite.. I said alright im off, and they came like it was nothing.. It will be some effect.. you dont just out of the blue do those things.
Then we got home and they just go inside and start playing with there toys, with 100%focus, and not even thinking about me and thats twice in a row now tins has happened. An hour later Naht comes out and just goes straight out side and brings in a brick. His mums says no brick inside, So he takes it back out, come in and not a word and they both pack up the toys, take em outside in a complete one motion and as good any adultcould move it all.. This is definetly a thing.. But then when it time to stop its near 7 and it like that just started the day. Then it being 9pm, and the movie over, they want to sleep with me, but i not live there. Lights are off and everyone in mumbed…an She asked jaek what was the best thing he done today, he stands up to ramble on