When your trying to fix something that is difficult, it helps when you know all about the problem. But what is out there in terms of what depression is, how you get depression and how you beat depression is all a bit hazy to say the least. Basically we don’t even know how you get depression and that’s not a great starting point if your willing to try and beat depression.
I feel I know how you get depression but that is not going to give you enough confidence to believe me. Its different to anything that you may have learned as the causes of depression and you will have your own beliefs. Once you believe in something it is very hard for you to change your view or beliefs as that is what you have learned and that’s just how the human brain works. Your taught something and you generally believe in it. For example people in India believe the cow is sacred and something to do with it being a god and they don’t eat it. While people In the west don’t know what the hell there on about and think it is great to eat. People in India think this as that is what they have learned from others and the people who never learned this don’t even give it much thought as there been chowing down on cow all there lives and just see them in paddocks doing next to nothing with a blank look on there face.
So the first challenge for me to be able to help someone with depression is to be able to communicate information that you can relate to that outweighs your beliefs in areas of how you got depression and how you feel your depression works inside your mind. Like a trust that this person knows what he is talking about and the way forward may be at least consider this information due to it being relatable to my circumstances over what else I have heard or even what my current beliefs are on the issue.
I don’t have depression but I feel I know how it works. I’m sure I know how you get it but I cant say I know how you fix it. I can only assume I can possibly lead you on the right track to fix it as I know how you get it and how this disorder works in the minds of people and I’ve just worked out that certain things should be able to fix the problems you face.
Knowing how depression works means that I know this disorder doesn’t make it easy for you to try and get help to want to fix it. You don’t want depression as the thoughts it gives you from your mind don’t make you feel good about things and yourself, but are hesitant to part take in things or listen to advice about what might help. Firstly this may be because you feel that you are not understood and someone without depression doesn’t get what its like to have depression. And that for sure is true, unless you have it, people don’t understand that you are virtually not in control all the time of what you think in your mind and simply cant snap out of it. But also depression is like this thing. Its a mental disorder living in you mind that can take over your thoughts and like everything in this life it does not want you to get help as that may mean it is gone and doesn’t exist anymore.
Ive seen it many times where a person seems to be reaching out for help and when the help is there then the person disappears and is not willing. Its for sure something that you have to be determined to do and not let the depression disorder get in the way of your true thoughts of wanting to get well and live a good life mentally. More than likely you were not looking for help in the first place and just wanted to talk to someone who understood what you were going through which is fair enough and how everyone is.
What I think someone with depression should be able to relate to though is that your not always in control of your thoughts and that you cant help that you feel low about your self and have confidence issues. And its not a situation where you can just snap out of it or go get help. Your more in a situation where you cant control your thoughts at time that make you feel low and try to manage the situation the best way you can and others cant understand why your thoughts are so negative. They might not even feel that negative and you feel that your thoughts are totally rational and the way you see things is correct. But I can tell you that this is the thoughts of depression that have taken over your real thoughts at times and depression is very negative and hurts your self esteem.
Try to understand those that don’t understand you. They cant possibly understand how you feel as its a disorder doing the thinking for you at times and this way of thinking is not a way how others think. When you are negative about something it doesn’t make you feel good emotionally. When your discussing depression with someone that might want to help your take on what your trying to describe is negative and hurts there emotions to hear such talk. They will try and get you to think about things from how they feel and you will think that they don’t understand you. And they don’t and will avoid you or avoid the talk of being negative as its something that people in general try and stay away as it doesn’t make them feel good inside and there always trying to stay positive and your depression is being TOXIC in effect to them.
I think people don’t understand someone with depression, but more over someone with depression doesn’t understand that this is a disorder that is an attachment of your real self and way of thinking and that its the disorder making you think like this and at times when your not feeling depressed is when that is the real you and that the disorder is distracted from your thoughts but waiting to take over again when your mind becomes idle.
The main thing someone should be able to relate to when discussing depression that seems to be virtually forgotten by professionals and literature is how you got it. People don’t get depression for no reason, there is always something in life that is not right and its this that plays on the mind of someone and eventually your mind spirals down and into depression. No one is happy and carefree in life and then gets hit with depression disorder. Life doesn’t work like that. Its when you become weak emotionally due to some sort of situation that your mind didn’t enjoy and you got bad feeling on your insides and this is your emotions making you feel bad trying to tell you that this kind of attack is not something you should be exposed to.
You should be able to relate to something in your life that made you feel emotionally weak and loose confidence. Someone caused you to think negative about your self and over time you ended up with depression. Your mind become confused and you were thinking negatively and like then same thing over and over and now your got depression. That your mind has been abused in some way.
You should be able to relate to this as that how you get depression. Your emotions get to a level of weakness where a disorder takes over as the human body tries to protect it self from going even further down emotionally. Emotions get effected from thoughts from the mind, If your mind encounters a situation where it continually is confronted with negativity or a person being put down then this type of thoughts spin around in the mind effecting you emotionally and making you weak. You drop confidence because the thoughts in your mind are negative about your self and your mental well being deteriates to low levels. Unless you got depression from before you remember you should really be able to relate to having been through something bad emotionally or for some a life of straight up mental pain. Mental abuse or any type of abuse especially when your a child and your emotions are trying to develop wil make you weak and onto mental illness depending on the type of abuse suffered.
People with other mental illness have all been through other types of abuse that effected them emotionally. You may have more than one mental illness yourself and that will be due to your mind enduring different types of abuse. It can be even psychical or sexual abuse, it doesn’t matter, it is all felt through the mind and your emotions get there messages from the mind and if there not got thoughts then you get emotionally weak.
People with schitzophenia have all been psychically abused, sexual abused people all have borderline personality disorder and people with anxiety all have had there emotions put into a situation that they did not enjoy over and over that they worried about and now worry about ever thing. Emotions for everyone work the same and if your got mental illness then its because your been put through something in real life.
Understanding and being able to relate to what was the cause of getting depression and how you would of spiriled down to this depth emotionally is the key as it what going to be required to get out of depression. You need to get emotionally strong. You need to know what are the things that make you weak and limit them in your life and you need to know what are the things to make you strong. The first starting point is to know that negative will make you feel bad and positive will make you feel good.
The next most important thing to know is that your emotions get there information from your mind and that negative thoughts onto negative cyclical thoughts hit your emotions over and over again and how depression works sometimes and that a way needs to be thought of how to limit the times when the mind does this to you.
I was going to go into how this is done but it is such a big topic and will leave it for another blog, but there is a lot of thought and determination that would go into getting out of depression. everyone has been through different stuff and each person has to get better in there own way. Understanding the why and how you get depression over time can give your mind the tools to be able to think along the lines of how you can reverse what has happened. Its not easy and what you been through was not easy, but the only way is positive and living with depression is always going to be the hardest thing you do and the easy way might be to fix it. I have some good ideas of some of the things that may help and all focus on the disorder and a life where there is no abuse and your mind can think of new things and be free….