When your born your like a blank canvas. You have a brain that just has the ability to learn. You don’t come into this world with any knowledge and start learning from the day you are born. Your emotions are like our human instincts that give off a feeling of what feels good or bad and they try to guide us through our life.
When we are born all we can do is cry, this alerts our parents that we need something. It will be that we need food, comfort, sleep or that we are in some discomfort. When our parent comes to us and helps us with the problem it make us feel good emotionally and to stop crying. Each time we cry and get what it is that we want or need it gives us more strength emotionally and confidence that when you cry someone is there and fixes the problem. You become attached to this person as they are there for you when they need you.
They are pretty much your everything and in these first year have built up this dependency on your parent where if there is anything you need you do what ever you know how to alert them and they help you. Each time you are stopped from being in distress you get stronger emotionally and as you get older you get less distressed when you need something. Your brain also learns that this person is able to help you to get what you need and to do what is best to get what you want. These are the beginings of your mind developing and your emotions getting stronger.
In the early days you build up this learning that if you want something you will do what pleases your parent as it gives you the best chance of getting what you want. And a big thing a young child wants is praise from there parent as it feels good to them emotionally. You do something new which is interesting for your brain and you learn something and that provides your parent with enjoyment and you feel this somehow as praise that makes you feel good inside giving you strength and your learning again to do what your parent wants as it makes them praise you and feel good and you enjoy what has happened and everything just circles together to give a child learning, strength and a bond to the parent.
You also start learning what not do, along with the hundreds of other things you are learning that are going to give you a base for the rest of your life in a lot of things. The reason a child does the wrong thing is because they don’t know better and need to learn something more to be able to do what is required so they get that praise and feel good. But a big thing in a young child is that they can only learn and how you teach them that something is wrong needs to be taught also. By that I mean you can show them the way or encourage them to think in another way by you teaching them and encouraging and praising them to do what you want. Saying no and giving your reasons why is often not going to work.
For starters if they could understand your reason in the first place then they probably wouldn’t of done it and they need to be taught in baby language and have no words that they don’t understand the meaning of and could take a while to progress through learning to get a child to not do something when young. It may be to not take something off another or cry for a certain thing or they cant have something, but your reasoning will take a while to get through as they haven’t learnt this stuff properly at a young age. Don’t forget also that there learning so many other things at this age so some things have to be taught many times before they can become learned from a child.
Its the same with an adult brain as well as a young child and that is that when you don’t understand something that you tend not to take any notice or switch off easier when you don’t know or have an interest in what someone is teaching you. With a lot of things that a brain or person learns it needs to be very step by step in its progression or the mind wonders to areas of thought that it has knowledge on and capable of thinking about.
When there are so many things all being learnt at once there are going to be many things that a child doesn’t get and you have to go back and teach or they simply will not know them. If a child misses something it can result in negative feedback instead of praise that they are looking for. Often a parent can miss that the child simply doesn’t understand something and that they are so young and learning so many things all at the same time. It may look like bad behaviour even at times when its a child not knowing how to act in the circumstance. This may cycle the other way from encouragement, praise, getting stronger and learning to negative, weaker and switching off.
As a child get up to the age of about three a lot of the things they have been learning start to make a bit of sense and they are able to apply there brain to things more and more and solve things for themselves. But there brain is still under developed and can think very simply. It is also not that used to thinking and will get a lot of things wrong. As it is not used to thinking a lot yet it still needs encouragement to think and to even switch on. It needs to get its confidence up to be able to think and to switch on to think. Thinking for a child only teaches them that you will think for them, telling them the answer or basically doing anything to disturb them or not to gently promote the use of there brain when young will all end up with them not being able to think and learn as good as possible.
A child gets to this point in life around three where a lot of the learning from birth needs to be applied in there life and in there play. They are also able to learn things where they are able to use there brain to make decisions or to give answers to questions and is an important stage in a childs life. They are very uncertain and can have confidence issues in there answers as there brain is just in the early stages of being able to think and to switch on and emotionally are growing very fast but also when growing fast emotions are weak and subseptable to things around them and a child is noticing everything.
Most of the time there is no troubles and a few glitches are easily fixed and a child gets through these years, but some do not and become a bit troubled and get ADD and ADHD. This happens when a child has too many thing it doesn’t understand and is not able to solve the things its required to while losing confidence in its ability to think and to switch on to think. When they switch on to think they are often met with negatives as there doing the wrong thing now and they don’t know what to do, They go into a spiral of losing confidence, negative praise and a drop in attension span due to them not being able to think there way through the little things that are being put to them. They are very observant and see other kids being able to do this and because there thoughts are interrupted by them not being able to think as well become disruptive to others trying to.
It spirals and spirals down emotionally and them not getting praise from the people that there trying to please and they don’t understand why as its the best they can do from what there been taught. They loose complete confidence in there learning and thinking and resort to bad behaviour as a cry out for help that is usually met with more negative appraisal and the spiral continues until they pick up a learning disorder like ADHD or ADD that now at least protects them somewhat to where they were going emotionally.
Its why ADHD etc are the mental illnesses that first show up in young children at this age. The reason for the increase in ADHD is because these days there is so much more a child need to understand as life is changing rapidly with the parents who they are dependant on having less time to teach there children properly and be there for them emotionally. Also with a faster paced lifestyles of people these days they are also less able to handle there own stresses and be the parent they need to be at times and not able to notice when there child is in distress and need help. Some parents are focused on providing as its a necessity for survival and an increase breakdown of the family unit all placing pressure at the end on the children that might be facing there own problems.
The reason why drugs like aderoll and dex amphetimines helps with a child with ADHD etc is that it helps with attension span. People in general can use these drugs to give there brain an advantage and think for long periods of time with out getting tired. Adult who use these drugs do have adverse side effects and can affect other parts of them emotionally.
There is no known cause of ADHD etc, or cure but im pretty sure it works like this with in children. My own child seemed to have it at an early age and was able to get out of it by basically sticking to encouragement and praising with extra work as a parent to teach him properly things and being there for him emotionally and listening to what he was trying to tell me. It required spending more time and focus on him that was certainly worth it and noticed by my child.